September 2nd, 2010 by aarondietz

This list is, of course, final. If you were thinking of making one of the best movies about time travel in the near future, you’re too late, unless it’s autobiographical. Because then you’d be a time traveler. So you could change time and stuff. Get it? Never mind.

1. Timecrimes. When you watch this, at first you’re all, that’s some freaky stuff! Then, you’re all, Soylent Green is people (except people is me)! And finally you start to figure everything out, and it’s still interesting. Even without time travel ability, I can already tell it’s better than the Tom Cruise knock-off version that’s scheduled to come out in 2012.

2. Twelve Monkeys. Possibly the best use for Brad Pitt yet.

3. Primer. Brilliant film, though I still can’t figure this one out. That bit about the party confuses me. What exactly happened there?

4. The Sticky Fingers of Time. Like any movie that combines time-travel with bisexual adventures and bionic parts, this movie is a classic.

5. Back to the Future. It’s just a very fun movie. It’s like the first Matrix, only from a different decade, with different technology, and a totally different plot.

6. Time Bandits. Honestly, I don’t remember this movie. I remember enjoying it, but I couldn’t tell you what happened. I just included it in this list because I know someone will be all, “Hey, what about Time Bandits?”

7. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn. Technically, not a time travel movie at all, but it’s way better than Star Trek IV.

August 24th, 2010 by aarondietz

During the writing of Super, I kept track of a few funny, interesting, or odd comments left by my editor from the many edits of my manuscript. And here they are:

This seems like a lot for such a short paragraph.

Costume repair.

Drugs?

Does it have to be Bob? Could it be Gary? Or Frank?

Run like hell

Is this like she’s making soup?

Guns shoot bullets, and people load bullets into guns.

Yes, more wild. Wild it.

What other sites would terrorists be smart to attack in the U.S.?

Now the book gets interesting! (p. 153)

Opened 5-gallon pickle buckets.

Yep. NOW, and only NOW are you funny. (p. 161)

August 18th, 2010 by aarondietz

Step 1: Come up with a nifty logo (this part was done by Charlie Potter,
who is the graphic designer and book designer for the book).

Step 2: Order pizza.

Step 3: While waiting for the pizza, cut the logo out of your stencil.

Step 4: Eat the pizza.

Step 5: Test your stencil using the pizza box. Does it look cool? Oh yes, it looks cool. Good job, you. CAUTION:
Do not vandalize other people’s property. It’s okay to spray paint your
own pizza box, but don’t spray paint anyone else’s. Or anyone else’s
other stuff. The principle (and law) applies to more than just pizza
boxes.

Step 6: Buy one of those glow-stick things for kids.

Step 7: Crack it and shake.

Step 8: Cut it open using a knife you don’t care about, and then drain it
into a plastic cup that you don’t care about. Cut slowly and carefully!
CAUTION: Do not actually do this stuff! It could be dangerous! At the
very least, get your publisher to do it while you shield and avert your
eyes! Special note to publishers: Don’t do it!

Step 9: Apply glow-in-the-dark mixture to stenciled paper.

Step 10: Stand back, and then say, “What the heck does RBZ mean?”

RBZ Logo by Charlie Potter.

For more info on the book, check here: http://aarondietz.us/super

August 10th, 2010 by aarondietz

Chong Yit Seng
of Singapore,

You wrote some code once.
And I used it.

I used the code to loop through Word docs
and convert them to XML files tagged according to an EAD specification.

I never thanked you
because I didn’t know how.

Now you have a LinkedIn profile
(if that’s you).

So anyway,
thanks!

August 4th, 2010 by aarondietz

Sometimes putting a title on a book is more challenging than writing the book itself. Here’s a list of titles that weren’t quite as good as Super. The book is about Superheroes that work for a county agency, so that’s what most of these titles were attempting to express.

Superhero Suckdown
The Right Thing or Whatever
Apocalypse Management
Hostile Work Environment
To Err is Superhuman
Municipal Light and Powers
Superize Me
Rescue This Book
FOIA L-351-ORB-12
Security Blanket
Not a Zombie Book
Super Qualified
I Just Work Here
A Poorly Titled Novel That’s Actually Rather Good
Opportunity Screams
Materials that Stretch
Extra Sensitive
You Are the Hero

July 27th, 2010 by aarondietz

I always have a bit of trouble explaining what my novel is about, so I’m lucky to have a synopsis written by the talented Alex Reed, with a few choice additions from my editor, Bryan Tomasovich.

The Synopsis

Do you need a new job?

Does the world need another superhero?

You see the connection, don’t you? If you had the chance to save lives…could you handle the adventure? The pressure, the risk, the grotesque, the insane? Most of all, could you handle your humanity? Update your resume, ‘cause here we go. Either stick with being sucked down further into your life, or earn the lift-off of the elite.

Aaron Dietz’s debut novel moves with an experimental edge into America’s heroic mythology. Structured as a novel-length job application for a superhero agency, Dietz uses his iron touch to explore themes that go far deeper than the swashbuckling world of comics and costumes. It’s a story about commitment, ability, bureaucracy, possibility, crisis, and heartbreak. Super.

July 22nd, 2010 by aarondietz

You learn something every day.

July 13th, 2010 by aarondietz

Now listen here, ’cause when you’re as old as me, you gets knowledge about stuff and then on occasion you force-share it on people and you can’t force-share it on people who don’t listen.

I remember when Wyatt Earp invented the compooter quite well, because it was the day after the gunfight near the O.K. Corral, and me and Wyatt were all cooped up in the hotel, bored as a spent firecracker, what when Wyatt done said, “Jeeminee, homma’ homma’ g’boy!”

Which, if’n you knew Wyatt like I did, you knew that was Wyatt’s way of proposin’ an entirely new form of technology capable of doin’ stuff when people did stuff to tell it what to do, which, if’n you knew Wyatt, you knew he intended to call the “compooter” because, hot dog, that’s just obvious if’n you knew how he talked.

And that was the day we what wished the microchip to already have been invented because we couldn’t-a figure that part out.

The next day we sent McMasters out for ice cream and then made him eat it first so we know’d it weren’t poisoned.

July 7th, 2010 by aarondietz

Perhaps a comforting thought related to people being relatively easy to manipulate is that people can be heavily influenced by an idea, and so if the world seems too commercialized, too homogenized, or just too stupid due to a general lack of independent thought, then take heart in knowing that the right idea could easily catch on at any moment, and transform the world.

June 28th, 2010 by aarondietz

I’ve always been kind of nice, so when I’m approaching the same street corner as someone else I tend to stop and let them go ahead, which seems to suit them fine, as they usually make no acknowledgement of my existence whatsoever.

This never surprises me, it being that people are selfish jerks and all.

But no! I’ve made a frightening discovery! Recently, I’ve changed jackets from a simple black pea coat to an attention-getting, weird (sort of Sgt. Pepper-y) jacket. Suddenly people wait for ME at street corners!

What a bunch of jerks! Being selfish and ignoring the existence of others is actually fairly reasonable behavior, seeing as how other people are also selfish jerks, but going out of your way just to treat others differently purely based on what they wear is another, far worse kind of idiocy!