In 2013, Aaron Dietz will produce 12 books in 12 months. Find out more here.

War Horse: An Alternative History

Posted: February 9th, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: Funny, Long | 4 Comments »

Rarely does a director ask, “What if I took all kinds of characters from other movies and threw them into a historical movie to see what history would be like?!!?! LOL?!”

War Horse tackles this startlingly experimental narrative landscape with aplomb!

First off: the goofy kid who was the main character. It’s Goofy from all those Disney cartoons! He rarely speaks, has a positive attitude, and he likes wearing vests. No other character in the universe could have believably given such a goofy grin while gazing at a newborn foal. Only Goofy could have pulled that off! Read the rest of this entry »


You’re Going to Do Cool Stuff

Posted: January 20th, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: Serious | 2 Comments »

When I was young, I thought I’d do all kinds of cool things. As things turned out, I didn’t do any of them.

But I did all kinds of cool things I didn’t expect!

Read more in my guest post on Bellesouth.


How to Take Down My Web Site

Posted: January 18th, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: Serious | 2 Comments »

Here are directions for taking down my Web site:

1. Make sure SOPA and/or PIPA pass through Congress and are signed into law.

2. Complain to my hosting company by saying that someone posted copyrighted material on aarondietz.us.

3. My hosting company, Dreamhost, will be forced to shut down my Web site or else risk all kinds of nasty things the law can do to them. Read the rest of this entry »


Yes We Can – What, You Meant Me?

Posted: December 8th, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Other People, Serious | 2 Comments »

Let me tell you what happened.

First, we got Obama elected. We woke up the next day and everything felt nice, happy, safer, and even loving.

Then we all forgot about politics for a while. We had worked hard to get him elected. We deserved a break. The President was going to take care of us, so what the heck–we could take it easy now.

That’s what we figured.

And so for a while, we thought, “Yes we can.”

But now we’re like, “What, you meant me?”


Write What You Know…Sort Of

Posted: September 13th, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Short | 4 Comments »

In writing, the well-known trick is to write what you know, but many writers get sidetracked by this and confuse what they know with what they think they should know. A writer may indeed know what it feels like to be a Russian spy posing as a Norwegian chef in the U.K. whose vital mission is to decode a message that will save the lives of countless human beings–including their secret lover.


How to Avoid a Farmer’s Tan

Posted: September 6th, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Documentation, Funny, Other People | No Comments »

It’s 1993 or so. Summer. I’m working in a corn field, with Dave.

Dave says, “I hate getting a farmer’s tan.”

I say, “Then roll up your sleeves.”

He rolls up the sleeves on his t-shirt. “It’s kind of uncomfy,” he says.

“It’s an old t-shirt that you probably don’t care about. Just tear your sleeves off. That’s what I do.”

He grabs a sleeve and pulls. His shirt rips down the middle of his chest. The rest of the morning it hangs on him by one shoulder.

We come in to the shed for lunch. Our boss gives Dave a weird look.

Dave says, “Don’t ask.”


Bellesouth Talks Unemployment, Godliness, and How to Become a Paid Blogger

Posted: August 29th, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Long, Other People, Random | No Comments »

I’ve known Eleanor Evans of Bellesouth since 2005 through the social networking site known as MySpace and other social networking sites. Over just a few short years, she’s actually figured out how to make money at blogging, a fact I am in awe of. She was also a strong member of the Super Action Team, a group of amazing marketers and social networking gurus who volunteered to help me promote my novel, Super.

It is with great pleasure that I present an interview with Bellesouth’s industrious and brilliant creator, Eleanor Evans, in which she answers critical questions about unemployment, godliness, and how to become a paid blogger.

Aaron Dietz: When we first communicated about doing an interview you said something about pretending it’s a Barbara Walters Special, so I watched some of those to prepare. And if I may, I’d like to steal some questions from her, starting with the following:

At one point I heard that you thought you might do a show like The View. Is that true?* Read the rest of this entry »


I Invented Seattle

Posted: August 18th, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Funny, Short | No Comments »

I invented Seattle, once.

I did! I thought it up, right down to the name.

Later, I discovered someone else thought it up before me and built the whole thing!

So I moved there to check it out. Not bad!

My idea was to have conveyor belts instead of sidewalks, but whatever. Still pretty decent.


My Review of Lord of the Rings: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 7, Part 2

Posted: August 9th, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Funny, Long | 9 Comments »

I’ve finally seen the latest Lord of the Rings movie and I’d like to review it. It’s called Lord of the Rings: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 7, Part 2.

Well, first of all I just want to say: boy am I confused!

I mean, I know there’s a lot of backstory, but sheesh! In case you didn’t see the first 10 films, there were a bunch of rings and Sauron gave them out to all these people and elves and gnomes and jeez, I guess Harry Potter had to destroy them and it takes him like 11 hours of film just to destroy the first one! Read the rest of this entry »


Ben Loory’s Stories for Nighttime and Some for the Day

Posted: July 25th, 2011 | Author: | Filed under: Other People | 2 Comments »

The cover of Ben Loory's Stories for Nighttime and Some for the DayBen Loory’s Stories for Nighttime and Some for the Day is a book of fairy tales for adults. Kind of. The tales have this sort of secret ingredient in them that makes you feel incredibly wise when you read the book. Like, while you’re reading it, you might think, “Of course I don’t know why that man did that thing in this story, but I feel like I’m almost smart enough to figure it out even though it’s an unsolvable puzzle. Take that, person-who-got-better-grades-than-me-in-elementary-school.”

When Ben Loory read a piece from the book in Denver, my girlfriend and I both cried. When Ben Loory sent me the manuscript for a blurb, I held it in my heart each night for a summer while my girlfriend was in Taiwan. Oh, to get through the day and have stories from this book awaiting you!

Here’s the blurb I wrote: Read the rest of this entry »