Super, a novel by Aaron Dietz from Emergency Press

A Blog Can Bring Down An Empire

Posted: July 2nd, 2007 | Author: | Filed under: Especially Good, Funny, Serious | No Comments »

An excerpt from Alfred Katar’s journal, Production Manager for the first Death Star:

Of course I considered the possibility that some farmboy would throw a couple proton torpedoes down that chute and blow the whole thing up! We consider everything: cheese in the vents, parasites in the mail, an irregular muscle twitch happening to Lord Vader while he’s practicing light saber–you name it, we thought of it and had a design for the Death Star that accounted for it.

Our original proposal included a fix for the “farmboy proton torpedo” scenario, but budget cuts forced us to eliminate several fixes on our Least Plausible Scenario list (the rebels alternatively could have simply melted a candy bar over exhaust port subvalve 6843 to achieve the same effect).

Still, we figured we were okay. Who would think of using proton torpedoes against the Death Star? And why would they target that particular two meter section of real estate? It just didn’t make ordinary strategic sense.

However, one of the technicians posted a blog about the “farmboy proton torpedo” scenario on our internal DeathNet. I read it. It was pretty funny and completely satirical. I didn’t even make him take it down–who would take a blog seriously, anyway?

How was I to know that some Internet-obsessed droid would get on board and start reading our blogs? That was the one scenario we didn’t consider.

Protect the Internet. It’s our only hope.

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