May 31st, 2009 by aarondietz

The following is based on events that occurred on May 23 and May 24.

Jade Cabbage
We take the high speed rail from Taichung to Taipei. The first stop is the National Palace Museum, a place where things are actually old. They’ve got stuff from just about every dynasty, seems like, and an especially interesting jade cabbage.

Super Boots
Next, we take in Taipei’s night market, where I buy some boots that will be perfect for a project I haven’t officially announced yet (pictures will be posted eventually).

Pig Intestines
After the night market, we meet friends of the sweetheart’s for dinner. I try pig’s blood and pig intestine. The blood was fairly tasteless. The intestine was actually super good, but had a disgusting texture. It was like chewing…well, intestines.

Stinky Tofu
Later that night, I try stinky tofu, which wasn’t bad, but apparently also not as stinky as some vendors’ stinky tofu.

Taipei 101 Looks Like Bamboo
The first stop after breakfast the next morning was the tallest building in the world. What can I say? It’s tall. Oh yeah – and apparently it was designed to look like a bamboo stalk. We didn’t go up to the top because I didn’t want to spend one hour of my life that day waiting to ride an elevator. But still, we could pretty much see that it was tall, so we felt satisfied moving on.

The Perfect Bed
We stepped into a great store called Muji, where things don’t have a brand label, they’re designed very simply, and they actually have products I want to buy. Unfortunately, it would be ridiculous to ship the perfect simple bed overseas, otherwise, I’d have paid the price. However, Google tells me they have Muji in NYC, so maybe I can ship from there. I’ll look into it as soon as I’m not having fun.

Eslite Bookstore
Next, we checked out a very large 24-hour bookstore called Eslite. They had a lot of well-designed books, and great sub-categories, like Hypertext Literature.

Last Meal
My last meal in Taipei was an extremely excellent tofu burger at California Grill (not the chain). So yummy….

May 28th, 2009 by aarondietz

The following is based on events that occurred on May 21 and May 22.

I’m still fresh off the plane, for the most part, and we decide to go for a foot massage. Or more like, those who can speak Chinese decide to go for a foot massage and I follow along.

I’ve never had a foot massage before in any language, but it’s clear that I’m a tense person. Just about everything the massuese does causes at least a tiny little bit of pain, which I’m supposed to alert the masseuse to, but the real options are these:

Try to figure out how to tell someone I’m in pain in a language I don’t know, or wait three seconds for him to do something else. And I can easily sit through three seconds of pain.

My foot massage diagnosis? I need sleep and I spend too much time sitting wrong and staring at computer screens. That’s deadly accuracy.

The next day we head to the Paper Dome. It’s a domed building made largely out of paper. The benches you sit on are an interesting kind of cardboard (or something) and the dome is treated so it won’t be destroyed by the rain.

After the Paper Dome, we drive to Sun Moon Lake. Since it’s right on the lake, we check out Wenwu Temple. There are people selling food all around the lake, so I have my first tea egg. It’s a hard-boiled egg that’s boiled again in tea. Absolutely yummy.

The sweetheart’s mom goes by a strict rule of one egg per day, no more. Otherwise, I’d have had another tea egg immediately.

May 27th, 2009 by aarondietz

I’m in Wu-Fong, Taiwan. The humidity wraps itself around me.

To survive this kind of heat, you have to adjust your thinking.

If you think of the heat as your enemy, you’re finished.

The trick is to think of the heat as Earth’s loving embrace, as a gentle promise that no matter what, you will not be cold. If you can think of it that way, then it’s like walking around with a god hugging you non-stop.

It also helps to suddenly become a sandals person.

May 26th, 2009 by aarondietz

The following is based on events that occurred on May 21.

I’m in the car with the sweetheart. We haven’t seen each other in over two months and there’s absolutely no weirdness.

“So,” I say, “is it really foggy or is all that pollution?”

“Pollution,” she says.

Even so, it’s quite pretty.

May 22nd, 2009 by aarondietz

The following is based on events that occurred on and May 20 and May 21.

It’s only the beginning of the trip and I’m pretty sure I don’t know how to do anything:

1. How to unfold the table out of the armrest.
2. How to pull the movie screen watcher thing up.
3. How to tell what time it is.
4. How to figure out how far we’ve traveled.
5. How to eat my vegetarian meal without any utensils.
6. How to time the bathroom run.
7. How to call an attendant to get some water.

But eventually I figured it all out. So don’t worry.

And, after all that, going through customs was a breeze.

May 21st, 2009 by aarondietz

The following is based on events that occurred on May 19 and May 20.

I use my credit card to buy water from a vending machine. The directions on the machine tell you to press END to complete the transaction, but I can’t find an END key.

I kind of feel like falling to my knees and pounding the machine repeatedly, shouting, “There is no end. There is no end.”

But of course, there’s always an end. It’s what gives things value.

I press CLEAR. That seems to do the trick. Otherwise, I’m buying water for everyone until someone installs an END button.

Some youngsters traveling together are discussing their lives, which means they’re discussing their virtual lives.

Someone from Canada that somebody didn’t know friended somebody on FaceBook and then they chatted and it turns out that someone is so-and-so’s best friend from before they moved to somewhere.

You can relax now, since you finally know who that is.

May 19th, 2009 by aarondietz

Hepatitus A vaccination
Hepatitus B vaccination
Typhoid vaccination
Prescription traveler’s diarrhea medicine
Ear infection
Antibiotic for ear infection
Affrin
Prescription cough medicine
One-quart clear zip-top plastic bag
Asprin
Tums
Flip-flops
Business cards
Gum
Camera
Camera battery charger
Cord for moving images off of camera
Laptop
Laptop adapter
Mouse
Persian rug mouse pad
Plug adapter (3-prong to 2-prong)
Web cam
Ear buds
Printed itinerary
Pajama bottoms
9 outfits treated with permethrin
Extra permethrin for the sweetheart
Insect repellent
Hand sanitizer
Puffs travel pack
Gift for the sweetheart
Northwestern Wine for the sweetheart’s family
Seattle-made organic Fair Trade chocolate for the sweetheart’s family
Shaving gel
Razor with some stupid name thought up by Gillette
Electric razor
Electric razor charger
Burt’s Bees deoderant
Hair brush
Sonicare toothbrush
Floss
N95 respirators
Passport
My Name is Earl (Season 3)
Journal
Pens
Notepads
The Complete Stories of Saki
Exile and the Kingdom
KNOCK #11
McSweeney’s #24
Lonely Planet Taiwan
Chinese PhraseFinder and Dictionary
Parka
Hat
Sunblock

May 10th, 2009 by aarondietz

That’s right! I’m going to travel through time!

Here’s how it works:

On Thursday, I step on a plane around 2am here in Seattle, and then I sleep and read for about 12 hours as the plane flies to Taipei.

Then, I step off the plane, only to realize that time has advanced over 28 hours into the future since I first stepped on!

So wow – I’m going to travel into the future!

And that’s not even all! Two weeks after traveling into the future, I will step on a plane in Taipei and get to Seattle BEFORE I EVEN LEFT TAIPEI!

Can you believe it?! Modern miracles of science will never cease to amaze me!

(I know, it’s weird that they aren’t going back in time both ways, because then I’d get a longer stay in Taiwan, but what can I do? Those were the cheapest tickets I could find.)

May 7th, 2009 by aarondietz

I warned you (if you read the title of this blog). This blog is nothing but links, but if you’re just here to read what I write, there are still plenty of options.

KNOCK has published a short story of mine, called “Spam”, in a special fiction issue guest-edited by Jonathan Evison. If you’re in Seattle this Friday night, check out the release party.

Next, my latest pieces for TheNervousBreakdown.com:

1. Actually, Youth Isn’t that Big of a Turn-On
2. Diagonal Lines Are Your Friends
3. Why Does Everyone Always Have to Have Stuff Going On?
4. Burning the Small Bills to Stay Warm

A way to win a free week at one of Giant Campus’s summer technology camps (kids only):

I’d Rather Be…

Here’s a link to Charlie Potter’s relatively new blog (he’s a terrific artist who has contributed to AdventuresOfDogboy.com). In the following link, he highlights what could be my favorite Dogboy ever.

Charlie Potter illustrates: Dogboy Waters a Plant!

Oh yeah – and this isn’t a link, but I’m headed to Taiwan in less than a week, and I want any and all advice you want to put in a blog comment. Or, I suppose you could post me a link.