May 28th, 2008 by aarondietz

—————– Original Message —————–
From: 4AM Stuck on Earth
Date: May 14, 2008 12:59 AM

1.Should I shoot myself in the head …
2.deal with the ford betty …
3.grab tom and blow myself up and myspace

im asking for a way out

-W

—————– Original Message —————–
From: Aaaaaaron
Date: May 14, 2008 9:10 AM

Okay, now. Here’s what you do.

1. On the Dump menu, click Everything.
2. After everything goes away, spin the artifice.
3. Once the artifice has reached its peak, click Save, and then click Close.
4. This is really more of a nothing than a step.
5. If you’re still experiencing nausea, get expelled from school.
6. Write an open letter to McSweeney’s.

That should do it!

And thanks for asking.

aaron

—————– Original Message —————–
From: 4AM Stuck on Earth
Date: May 14, 2008 8:20 AM

PROBLEM SOLVED!
LOLZ

May 13th, 2008 by aarondietz

Text for this blog provided by the LOLer Translator.

I’L B BOTH READNG A PEIC3 AND WEARNG A 3-PEICA SUIT AT TEH KNOK R3LAAES PARTY ON MAY 17 (DETALES BLOW)!!1111!1 LOL

THERE WIL B A BAND DRINKS* U!!!1!!1!READERS** WTF ALSO HAEV A CHANCE 2
PURCHAES DA NAWAST ISUE OF KNOK WHICH HAS A PEIC3 OF MIEN IN IT (WO HO)

DETALES

KNOK!1!1!1! WTF RAL3AES PARTY FOR DA GESTATION ISUE

MAY 17 208 : 630PM : DA R3NDEZVOS JEWEL BOX THA8R : S3ATL3 WA

ARON DEITZ AN TWEDY JONATHAN EVISON AND NIK S2KES SCH3DULED 2 AP3AR!!!11!111 OMG

* IF U PAY FOR THEM

**!1!!1!1!! WTF LOL BY REAEDRS I MAAN BOTH KINDS – PEOPLE WHO READ WORDS AND P3OPLE WHO READ WORDS OUT LOUD***

***!!1!1 WTF TWO OF TEH RAAEDRS R 3XCELENT WRIETRS AN TWEDY AND JONATHAN 3VISON!11!11!1! WTF LOL

Oh, yeah, also – if you’re local Seattle and a fan of Obama, pop on over to Daniel O’Brien’s site to see if there’s anything you can do to support him. LOL. WTF. !111!!!!11!!!

May 13th, 2008 by aarondietz

The following is based on events that happened March 27 to March 29.

I wasn’t off the bus more than 20 minutes before tacos were being shoved down my throat.

The next day I witnessed art and art and art–in fact, I thought that maybe Dallas had become the art capitol of the world or something. Must be a side effect of having Erik Tosten (cover artist for my book) and Veronica show you around. Erik also pumps blood into Dallas’ ArtCast as a coveted interviewer of artists.

The quick rundown:

Erik and I reminisce about shooting baskets together over ten years ago, and immediately decide to buy a basketball hoop to put up on his garage. Thanks to capitalism failing us once again, we were unable to find one within five miles.

I was introduced to Kentucky Gentleman, a cheap bourbon that beats Jack Daniels and Jim Beam in taste tests.

I had Lone Star beer while competing in a friendly slingshot match (which I lost dreadfully).

It was cold and rainy–just like Seattle is about this time of year.

I had breakfast at Pitt Grill. Sweet!

I saw tons of art and wrote down tons of names, like Paul Greco–great stuff, and I saw an exhibition by Cedric Delsaux–always interesting.

Then, I went home.