December 28th, 2006 by aarondietz

People keep asking me: “Why would you go to Anchorage in the middle of winter?”

While waiting on a red eye flight, I’ve made a list of reasons:

1. Because I’ve never been there.

2. It’s way too cold for bums to be out asking you for money.

3. They have a cool Earthquake Park where huge tracts of land fell and slid toward the sea (this happened in 1964, creating a tidal wave that killed people in Oregon and California). Also fun is their earthquake exhibit inside the Alaska Experience Theater – tons of great photos and a theater that “quakes” as it shows you footage (your seat moves around while you watch).

4. They have very furry birds.

5. Naturally, there are the Northern Lights (however, we had very cloudy nights, so we didn’t get to see them).

6. It’s fun to go to a place where you can sleep in and still say you ate breakfast before the crack of dawn (the sunrise was well after 10am here).

7. And of course, perhaps the best reason to go was so that I could wear the coat that Kate Beckinsale may or may not have complimented me on (it never gets cold enough to wear it in Seattle).

December 26th, 2006 by aarondietz

I’m in Anchorage.

Christmas day goes well. We actually find restaurants that are open that, while they aren’t necessarily incredibly vegetarian friendly, they do at least have a dish or two that I can order (and the food is good, too).

We check out giant blocks of ice sitting in the town square and walk through a few snow covered parks.

The next day, we try to get to Portage Glacier but the roads are blocked due to fifteen foot snow drifts. I dare say it started to feel nice out when the temperature hit 20 degrees for a few minutes.

Back in Anchorage, the manager gives us a personal tour of the Glacier Brewhouse. Afterward, we drink beers that rest on coasters that say:

“What do you do to become enlightened? What are the signs you are succeeding? How does your life change as higher levels of enlightenment are achieved? As you ponder these and other questions, we suggest beer.”

December 24th, 2006 by aarondietz

Get this: Continental serves us a cheese pizza, side salad and a “fun size” candy bar. I can’t figure out why they would do such a thing, but a few possibilities come to mind:

1. We have gone back in time to the 1980s, when airlines served meals.

2. The airline found out we were all named Person of the Year and wanted to treat us.

3. Anyone going TO Alaska is treated very well.

We shall see. We’re waiting for our bags right now….

December 16th, 2006 by aarondietz

I’ve been reading a lot of feminist material lately and some of it points out how sexism is inherent in the language we use. I’ve particularly become aware of the swear words I use, like bitch, cunt, and motherfucker, for example. Why must my swearing call a person’s gender into question? It doesn’t have to, and most of the time, it shouldn’t.

So, I’m trying to replace my swearing vocabulary with gender-free terms. Instead of “motherfucker” I’m trying to use “fuckhead,” for example. This is tough because fuckhead has an entirely different feel to it. It practically requires me to restructure entire sentences in which swearing will be employed.

Still, I do it anyway. I say “fuckhead” because I care.

December 11th, 2006 by aarondietz

Look, it’s got my schedule on it and some blog ideas I wrote down! It was cheap, too!

December 8th, 2006 by aarondietz

As I was leaving my apartment building the other day, someone was coming in the door.

“Hello,” I said. (I’m friendly that way.)

In response, she grunted at me.

These young kids and their new forms of communication! It’s hard to keep up sometimes.

December 4th, 2006 by aarondietz

1. When you scrub your hair in the shower, make sure to use your fingernails. If you scrub with tenacity, your hair will slide between fingernail and finger, where dirt hides, and: Wallah! Now your fingernails are clean!

2. Get rid of your socks. Buy 21 pairs of the same sock and forget about matching them when you do laundry. In fact, forget about folding them, too; just put them all in a pile in the same drawer. You save time!

3. Clip your finger and toenails after showering. If you’ve just taken a nice hot shower, your nails will be soft. This means that when you clip them, they will be less likely to fly all over the room and make a disgusting mess. Yay!