November 29th, 2006 by aarondietz

Note: the following is based on events that happened on November 26-28.

I come in second during the annual RISK game (I was first last year, though, so I didn’t defend my title). We go see Casino Royale, which I thought was a pretty decent updating of the bond series (though I was most unimpressed with the lackluster (dull) drum line in the theme song, by Chris Cornell. The guitars could have been punchier, too). The movie could have been much better, but it was definitely an improvement over the last few.

I’m glad to be on a plane going back to Seattle, though, simply because I can order tofu in a higher percentage of restaurants.

On my connecting flight to St. Louis, I am on a plane I can’t stand up straight in. It’s so small that I have both the aisle AND the window seat. Who says you can’t have the best of both worlds? We take off into the sunset and soon it is dark.

In St. Louis I see quite possibly the tallest person I’ve ever seen in real life, amid a group of men in matching blue and white warmup suits.

My options for food are limited to several very unvegetarian-friendly restaurants, so I opt for the homemade oatmeal cookies I carry in my bag. They are not enough.

The ex-nurse next to me on the plane to Seattle offers peanut M&M’s, which I gladly accept. They help.

I watch my cell phone as we land and notice that I get the first bar of service two minutes before we touch the ground.

The cold feels good as I step off the plane.

Well, shit. That’s not where this story ends. I imagine I’ll catch a shuttle home in a jiffy and be eating pasta and sucking down a protein shake (courtesy of Jeremy) in less than an hour. But today, Seattle got an inch of snow or something and everything is backed up. Schools were cancelled and the line for shuttles is so long I can’t tell what everyone is in line for until I ask. An hour later, I am finally on one.

Anyway, blah blah blah. My shuttle has 9 passengers and I am told I’m first to be dropped off, so it could be worse.

Scratch that. The driver changed her mind. We have 10 passengers now and I end up being dropped off 9th.

November 26th, 2006 by aarondietz

Note: the following is based on events that happened on November 24 and 25.

We have the big meal a day late, since several of us didn’t get to town until Thursday night. Come on, people. We have the power to put holidays on Friday and Monday. What’s with the fucking in the middle of the week bullshit? Though, if it were up to me, we’d skip holidays altogether. We’d get more vacation time through work and make up our own holidays, holidays which were not co-opted by commercialism and meaningless dogma. Okay, so at least this little November holiday isn’t as bad as some others. At least it is not about giving useless trinkets and letting that be expressive of our love for one another. Even so, I think we could create a holiday that didn’t glorify genocide by its disclusionist ideology.

Okay. Sorry about that. I’m really not that grumpy. I just don’t dig holidays. So…we have the meal on Friday. It’s good; I make my Quorn fake turkey roast and I eat a lot of mashed potatoes. And black olives.

Saturday, I eat at two of my favorite places in Ames, within an hour of each other. The two places are the Great Plains Sauce and Dough Co. and the Downtown Deli. At the downtown deli, I am handed one of the finest subs a person can eat and I do a double take when they ring it up for $2.50. Wow. Seven inch sub, not skimping on the cheese, freaking fantastic, and it’s only $2.50. The Great Plains serves pizza that I really won’t bother trying to describe, but if you try it and you tell me you’ve eaten better pizza, you will be voted out of the family.

Unrelated news: someone shrunk my grade school, I swear.

If I were making my own holidays, there would be one in which I would play LEGOs for three days while watching movies.

November 24th, 2006 by aarondietz

Note: the following is based on events that happened on November 23.

I’m traveling on Thanksgiving Day. The Seattle airport has just announced that there will be a non-denominational Thanksgiving service in the Meditation Room. I’m half tempted to go, just for the novelty of it, just to go to church at the ariport, but it would mean I’d have to ask where this “Meditation Room” is. And I’m not that tempted, not enough to ask a question.

I have to fly to Dallas, first, in order to get to Iowa. During our ascent I am subjected to some sort of bad movie preview / commercial thingie that involves the blaring of a bad country song. I am appalled. Isn’t there a law against hurling bad music and ads at people that can’t walk out of the venue?

Now we’re beginning our descent. It’s almost a four hour flight and not even one snack. I’m hypoglycemic. As much as I’d like to gnaw on the woman in the window seat, doing so would not stop me from passing out. It’s a good thing I had two breakfasts.

During the landing, I see what could be described as an ugly sunset. The sun’s rays, distorted by Dallas’s pollution cloud, dance across the sky in a putrid shade of brown.

I find Dallas incredibly…closed. I can’t find hot or real food anywhere so I end up having to fill up on Chex Mix. I’ve got a protein bar somewhere in my pack so between the two things, I’ll probably live.

I’m in Iowa now, having eaten a fine late night meal of vegetarian lasagna and homemade bread. Everyone else is sleepy (on East Coast time). I stay up for a few hours reading two excellent books, then crash in the last unoccupied room.

November 20th, 2006 by aarondietz

They’ve accomplished this by sucking. Just about every band I listen to these days has at least one female in it.

November 13th, 2006 by aarondietz

A Dogboy story typically contains the following:

1. Dogboy.
2. A portion of Dogboy’s thoughts, in italics.
3. A brief description of what is going on in Dogboy’s head.

And now, for the first time ever, Adventures of Dogboy presents the first ever fan fiction Dogboy story! (You can send your Dogboy story to writer@aarondietz.us and maybe it will be published!)

This Dogboy story was brought to you by Rusty!

Adventures of Dogboy: Dogboy Forgets to do Stuff!

Dogboy forgot to do something on monday.

Dogboy says, -Wasn’t I supposed to do something?

Girl says, -Where?

In Dogboy’s head, the effort expended to act increases entropy with disasterous effects.

Dogboy, sitting still as he can, says -mumble mumble.

November 10th, 2006 by aarondietz

…these various places:

In Moab, Utah, right on the main stretch of highway, there is a place called the Jailhouse Cafe. Stop there for breakfast and order the Swedish pancakes. You will get lingonberries to spread on them and they will taste very nearly as spectacular as the ones my mother makes.

In Flagstaff, Arizona, there is an Italian restaurant amid the charming downtown shops, across the street and up the hill from a quaint hotel bar. At this Italian restaurant, you will want to order the Rotolo, a signature dish consisting of one long, wide noodle stood on its side and wrapped around sauce and cheeses (like a big ol’ pasta cinnamon roll). The service is so excellent there that the two times I’ve been, I’ve tipped $40 on a $65 bill and $20 on a $25 bill.

If you are a vegetarian in New York City and your friends say, “Let’s go get one of those excellent hot dogs from Crif Dogs,” you don’t have to roll your eyes and begrudgingly thing about how you’ll be eating a crappy veggie dog. No, you should WANT to go, because the veggie dogs there are better than any real hot dog you’ll ever eat (unless, perhaps, you’ve had their real hot dogs – I don’t know). Uniquely prepared, they are sliced somewhat but kept intact, like an accordian – you could almost pick up their dog and play slinky with it.

In Seattle, eat at Red Mills, a sweet little burger joint with a veggie burger option and splendidly tasty shakes. My first time there, I bit into my veggie burger in disbelief. After testing reality with several more bites, I finally said (while continuing to chew), “What the hell did they do to this veggie burger, because it’s awesome!” I don’t know what they do, but I like it.

If you have a time machine, travel back to 1997 and head for Iowa City. There, the Great Midwestern Ice Cream Co. will blow you away. Known as “the Great Mid,” their soups were the finest I’ve ever tasted: never boring, spicy when you wanted them to be, and they always had just a little something you couldn’t figure out – something mysterious and delicious. Plus, they made their own ice cream. Get the Coffee Toffee Fudge. An equal ice cream has never been made.

November 8th, 2006 by aarondietz

I swear we would all be young again if we were young again.

November 6th, 2006 by aarondietz

I made a cool thingie but it was a lot of work, so you have to go to MySpace to look.

Go there right now!

It’s a choose your own adventure style hypertext work of fiction that I wrote in the fourth grade with a friend!

November 1st, 2006 by aarondietz

I’m sure you’re aware of an election coming up. That’s right, there are still elections, even when we’re not voting for the president. I wanted to share some interesting numbers from 2000 and 2004.

The exit poll statistics, from CNN, for the year 2000, for the presidential election:

Republicans voting Democrat: 8 per cent
Democrats voting Republican: 11 per cent

So that’s how things were in the year 2000.

Now let’s look at 2004, still from CNN:

Republicans voting Democrat: 6 per cent

This I find hard to believe. The number of Republicans voting Democrat went DOWN? Never before this election had I ever heard a Republican say he or she would vote Democrat – but during this election I heard it from more Republicans than I can count. They were fed up. They were Republicans, sure, but they were sick of Bush.

Democrats voting Republican: 11 per cent

Bogus! Democrats voted for Bush at the same rate as 2004? No way. I don’t buy it. Bogus.

So…what happened? Are the exit polls simply bogus? Are Democrats that stupid? Do Republicans feel pressured into claiming that they are anti-Bush when in fact they are not? (And if so, if there is that much of a consensus that Bush is evil, why is he still in office?)