Super, a novel by Aaron Dietz from Emergency Press

I started a publishing company – subscribe now! (free literature)

Posted: July 14th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Events, Serious | No Comments »

The name of my new publishing entity is:

SPAM Publishing

The first issue is due out in early August.

What do you publish?

Literature and art meant to be absorbed online, in our particular format.

What format do you publish in?

E-mail. We publish work by sending an e-mail to all of our subscribers.

Why e-mail?

It’s the most stable and consistently-used technology of the last 15 years. It’s also free and viral. We publish work that people will want to send on to others, so that it will proliferate like spam. We don’t make money. We only want to expose people to new and exciting literature in the most practical way possible.

How often will you publish work?

No more than 12 e-mails per year, and probably less often than that. Each e-mail will have no more than one piece in it.

How do I subscribe?

Let me know, or send a message to:

How do I submit work?

Send the work to All work will be considered, but in general we’re most interested in publishing short pieces that take advantage of the format for literary gain (and possibly comedic effect).


Posted: May 7th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Events, Other People | No Comments »

I warned you (if you read the title of this blog). This blog is nothing but links, but if you’re just here to read what I write, there are still plenty of options.

KNOCK has published a short story of mine, called “Spam”, in a special fiction issue guest-edited by Jonathan Evison. If you’re in Seattle this Friday night, check out the release party.

Next, my latest pieces for

1. Actually, Youth Isn’t that Big of a Turn-On
2. Diagonal Lines Are Your Friends
3. Why Does Everyone Always Have to Have Stuff Going On?
4. Burning the Small Bills to Stay Warm

A way to win a free week at one of Giant Campus’s summer technology camps (kids only):

I’d Rather Be…

Here’s a link to Charlie Potter’s relatively new blog (he’s a terrific artist who has contributed to In the following link, he highlights what could be my favorite Dogboy ever.

Charlie Potter illustrates: Dogboy Waters a Plant!

Oh yeah – and this isn’t a link, but I’m headed to Taiwan in less than a week, and I want any and all advice you want to put in a blog comment. Or, I suppose you could post me a link.

Ways to Make Money (for the Economically Challenged)

Posted: April 1st, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Events, Serious, With Pictures | Tags: , , , , , , | No Comments »

1. Sign up as a Giant Campus agent, and then convince people to sign up for summer camp. You get 5% of the registration fee, and you also connect kids to an incredible learning experience.* (Last year, one agent earned $14,000 doing this.)

2. Create a sculpture for the Arbitrary Art Grant. The details are below, in the image. If you already have enough money to pay the necessary bills and buy the necessary food, I ask you to do the noble thing and ignore this tip. But you can still create a sculpture and send me a picture if you want.

$500 to one person who builds a sculpture inside of a steel grocery cart, created only from the store inventory. Build it, photograph it, and email a picture to: before May 15, 2009

3. Take over the writing for, sign up at Google AdSense, then promote Dogboy all over the place. I’ll pay for hosting, help with editing Dogboy adventures, and do the Web work to get AdSense running for you. You’ll earn what you make off of advertising clicks, which probably won’t be much, but if you’re an unemployed writer or just someone who has the time, this will kill some time for you.

* If you don’t want to sign up as an agent, but you know someone who wants to go to camp, you can use my promo code (I’ll use the money to pay off credit card debt), or if someone else signs up through my blog and lets me know, I’ll give you their promo code, because I’m okay so far. I have a job right now and am very grateful for that.

Roadnotes: Portland

Posted: March 30th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Events, Other People, Roadnotes | No Comments »

I take the train to Portland and quickly realize that everyone here is serving Stumptown coffee. You go to the coffee shop, they’re serving Stumptown coffee. You go to the breakfast place, they serve Stumptown coffee. You go to the bar, they serve Stumptown coffee. You go to the post office, they serve Stumptown coffee. You go to the bathroom, they serve Stumptown coffee. I swear.

Fortunately for me, I love Stumptown coffee.

We meet up with Spilt, F.R.A.N.I., Armatronix, and A at the Sapphire Hotel. We talk about blogging and how it isn’t what it used to be.

Spilt mentions that it’s weird to see everyone’s real name on FaceBook. Everyone agrees.

The next day I’m at a restaurant and I am told I can help myself to a “bev”, so yes, there are people who talk like that.

Saturday, I take in the Velveteria with family. Some of us are more interested in the black light room than the art of the paintings.

Sunday is BrickFest. A lot of hype, but all in all, about the same thing or less than the NW BrickCon. But don’t take that to mean it didn’t please me.

And then, I get “treated” to Madagascar II on the train back to Seattle. Woo.

Portland, this Friday, extreme hanging out, woo

Posted: March 23rd, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Events | No Comments »

I’m going to be in Portland this weekend.

Invited: You.

The time: 9:30pm, Friday, March 27.

The place: The Sapphire Hotel (not to stay the night there – instead: to eat, drink, and hang out)

Extreme-ness: While relaxing, eating, drinking, and talking, we’re all going to hold one hand up, with both end fingers raised. EXTREME!!!!!! Woo.

Text from the hotel’s Web site: “Sapphire Hotel is a sexy, candlelit bar in the lobby of what was once a traveler’s hotel and local brothel in Portland Oregon.”

Let’s be ridiculous in person: Converge upon Seattle in May

Posted: March 8th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Events, Other People | No Comments »

Vincent Truman* and I want to hang out with every single one of you. In Seattle. Soon.

We’ve tentatively selected Memorial Day weekend, but that can change depending on availability and demand. Can’t make it but want to? Suggest another time. Mention your level of interest here, or on Vincent’s blog.

Probable major events: a dinner at some scrumptious restaurant, and a small theater performance by everyone who wants to perform, and for all those who want to watch.

Probable mini-events: runs to all the great city parks, all the great Seattle neighborhoods, a run to Portland, runs to the mountains, and more** (basically whatever you want to do).

Incidentally, I’ll be in Portland for Brickfest the weekend of March 29. I’m reserving one night for family, but another one could wind up being some kind of blog get-together thing, perhaps. Anyone up for that?

* If you don’t know Vincent, that’s too bad, since everything I do is copied directly from him.

** By “runs”, I don’t mean to imply that you actually have to run. Walking, standing still, riding a bus, and/or riding a car is also okay. Or other stuff is okay, too, especially if you can fly. Good for you, if that’s the case. We’re all very aware of how much better you are than the rest of us. Oh yeah, wow.

Quirky Movie I Want To See

Posted: December 22nd, 2008 | Author: | Filed under: Events, Other People, Serious | No Comments »

Stay the Same Never Change

You can watch a quirky trailer here. It’ll be at Sundance, just in case any of you are going.

Brought to you by Laurel Nakadate, the same artist that flew to Japan just to film herself having imaginary sex with ghosts in hotel rooms. Brought to you by the same artist that filmed herself standing in a girl scout uniform as the World Trade Center burned behind her. Brought to you by the same artist that filmed herself trying to teach old men Britney Spears moves.

The Online Seduction of SugarPuffMuffin

Posted: November 17th, 2008 | Author: | Filed under: Events, Funny, With Pictures | No Comments »

Fortunately, I.M.Pei got video footage, so you can watch it here.

I’m working on a fantastic six minutes to perform for Jonathan Evison (author of All About Lulu), in just a few weeks.

The Details

December 11
Third Place Books
Lake Forest Park, WA
Free show!
Free beer!
Free Appalachian wedding buffet!*

* Appalachian wedding buffet = Little smokey cheddars, Ho-Ho’s, PBR, Alka Seltzer….

The Other Side Will Never Die

Posted: November 11th, 2008 | Author: | Filed under: Especially Good, Events, Funny, Luke and Darth, Other People, Short, With Pictures | Tags: , | No Comments »

We can’t shut the opposition out or pretend the opposition doesn’t exist. We have to live with them, and help them understand how to live with us.

FREE SHOW! If you’re in Seattle Friday night, I’ll be in a 3-piece suit, reading at the KNOCK Magazine release party. 7pm. Jewel Box Theater inside The Rendezvous. (I’m also opening for Jonathan Evison on December 11 – that one’s free, too, and even includes free beer and an Appalachian wedding buffet.)

Fake Assignment: You Do Not Do This One

Posted: September 15th, 2008 | Author: | Filed under: Events, Other People, Random | No Comments »

Really, this is just a test. Do not follow these directions.

1. Get comfortable.

2. Readjust your level of comfort.

3. Get re-comfortable.

4. Watch “Indicator” at

5. Name one thing that happened in the bathroom.

6. Determine what color of underwear the Space Bear is wearing.

7. Visit Seattle Untimely and press play.

8. Go back in time and answer number 6.

9. If you still have money left, save it.

10. Go to SketchFest. I’ll be there on Wednesday, September 24th (not as a performer, though–as an exaggerator).

11. Say hi.

12. Suddenly realize that those links are connected in some way. Or not.

13. Watch Intro 3 here.


Now you’re a tomato.