March 5th, 2010 by aarondietz

Documentarian

Federal Trade Commission

Pilot Books

Narcolepsy

“In fact, as the result plainly proves, he needed the assistance and
support of staunch and true friends, upon whose courage, coolness and
fidelity he could depend in case of an emergency.”

American Junkie

Triangulate

Gazebo

Tom Hansen

P.S. Tom Hansen’s making a rare public appearance tonight at Pilot Books for the release of American Junkie, an excellent, honest, and captivating book. 7pm, for those in Seattle that can make it. I’ll be there!

Here’s what American Junkie is about in Star Wars language: There is no mysterious “Force” in the galaxy (yet Darth Vader is still around, and just as deadly). This book is Luke’s journey toward facing Vader, anyway, without the Force. Or a lightsaber. Also, Luke doesn’t whine all the time.

October 1st, 2009 by aarondietz

Background: Microsoft’s Windows 7 promotion is centered around convincing people to host a Windows 7 launch party. You can find out more about that by watching this video and trying not to throw up.

Scary Observation: Supposedly, people are doing this. In fact, according to a regional Windows 7 launch party map, there are easily over 10,000 people hosting parties in the United States, alone.

Hypothesis #1: The number of parties is a highly fabricated number.

The Scant Evidence: As Windows XP pretty much made Vista obsolete, I’m having trouble believing there are that many people interested in Windows 7.

Hypothesis #2: A large number of the comments left on this page were actually left by Microsoft marketing personnel.

The Scant Evidence: There just aren’t enough typos on the comments page. I find it hard to believe that Windows fans have an higher-than-average rate of typing and grammatical accuracy.

The Request: If you are hosting a Windows 7 launch party or if you know someone who is, give me details! I want to know everything–like, why? Was it for the “party pack”? Do you love Windows? Was it an excuse to try out a new operating system so you figured, why not? I will respond with non-judgmental interest. I only want to know more.

July 14th, 2009 by aarondietz

The name of my new publishing entity is:

Send the work to spam.publishing@gmail.com. All work will be considered, but in general we’re most interested in publishing short pieces that take advantage of the format for literary gain (and possibly comedic effect).

May 7th, 2009 by aarondietz

I warned you (if you read the title of this blog). This blog is nothing but links, but if you’re just here to read what I write, there are still plenty of options.

KNOCK has published a short story of mine, called “Spam”, in a special fiction issue guest-edited by Jonathan Evison. If you’re in Seattle this Friday night, check out the release party.

Next, my latest pieces for TheNervousBreakdown.com:

1. Actually, Youth Isn’t that Big of a Turn-On
2. Diagonal Lines Are Your Friends
3. Why Does Everyone Always Have to Have Stuff Going On?
4. Burning the Small Bills to Stay Warm

A way to win a free week at one of Giant Campus’s summer technology camps (kids only):

I’d Rather Be…

Here’s a link to Charlie Potter’s relatively new blog (he’s a terrific artist who has contributed to AdventuresOfDogboy.com). In the following link, he highlights what could be my favorite Dogboy ever.

Charlie Potter illustrates: Dogboy Waters a Plant!

Oh yeah – and this isn’t a link, but I’m headed to Taiwan in less than a week, and I want any and all advice you want to put in a blog comment. Or, I suppose you could post me a link.

April 1st, 2009 by aarondietz

1. Sign up as a Giant Campus agent, and then convince people to sign up for summer camp. You get 5% of the registration fee, and you also connect kids to an incredible learning experience.* (Last year, one agent earned $14,000 doing this.)

2. Create a sculpture for the Arbitrary Art Grant. The details are below, in the image. If you already have enough money to pay the necessary bills and buy the necessary food, I ask you to do the noble thing and ignore this tip. But you can still create a sculpture and send me a picture if you want.

3. Take over the writing for AdventuresOfDogboy.com, sign up at Google AdSense, then promote Dogboy all over the place. I’ll pay for hosting, help with editing Dogboy adventures, and do the Web work to get AdSense running for you. You’ll earn what you make off of advertising clicks, which probably won’t be much, but if you’re an unemployed writer or just someone who has the time, this will kill some time for you.

* If you don’t want to sign up as an agent, but you know someone who wants to go to camp, you can use my promo code (I’ll use the money to pay off credit card debt), or if someone else signs up through my blog and lets me know, I’ll give you their promo code, because I’m okay so far. I have a job right now and am very grateful for that.

March 30th, 2009 by aarondietz

I take the train to Portland and quickly realize that everyone here is serving Stumptown coffee. You go to the coffee shop, they’re serving Stumptown coffee. You go to the breakfast place, they serve Stumptown coffee. You go to the bar, they serve Stumptown coffee. You go to the post office, they serve Stumptown coffee. You go to the bathroom, they serve Stumptown coffee. I swear.

Fortunately for me, I love Stumptown coffee.

We meet up with Spilt, F.R.A.N.I., Armatronix, and A at the Sapphire Hotel. We talk about blogging and how it isn’t what it used to be.

Spilt mentions that it’s weird to see everyone’s real name on FaceBook. Everyone agrees.

The next day I’m at a restaurant and I am told I can help myself to a “bev”, so yes, there are people who talk like that.

Saturday, I take in the Velveteria with family. Some of us are more interested in the black light room than the art of the paintings.

Sunday is BrickFest. A lot of hype, but all in all, about the same thing or less than the NW BrickCon. But don’t take that to mean it didn’t please me.

And then, I get “treated” to Madagascar II on the train back to Seattle. Woo.

March 23rd, 2009 by aarondietz

I’m going to be in Portland this weekend.

Invited: You.

The time: 9:30pm, Friday, March 27.

The place: The Sapphire Hotel (not to stay the night there – instead: to eat, drink, and hang out)

Extreme-ness: While relaxing, eating, drinking, and talking, we’re all going to hold one hand up, with both end fingers raised. EXTREME!!!!!! Woo.

Text from the hotel’s Web site: “Sapphire Hotel is a sexy, candlelit bar in the lobby of what was once a traveler’s hotel and local brothel in Portland Oregon.”

March 8th, 2009 by aarondietz

Vincent Truman* and I want to hang out with every single one of you. In Seattle. Soon.

We’ve tentatively selected Memorial Day weekend, but that can change depending on availability and demand. Can’t make it but want to? Suggest another time. Mention your level of interest here, or on Vincent’s blog.

Probable major events: a dinner at some scrumptious restaurant, and a small theater performance by everyone who wants to perform, and for all those who want to watch.

Probable mini-events: runs to all the great city parks, all the great Seattle neighborhoods, a run to Portland, runs to the mountains, and more** (basically whatever you want to do).

Incidentally, I’ll be in Portland for Brickfest the weekend of March 29. I’m reserving one night for family, but another one could wind up being some kind of blog get-together thing, perhaps. Anyone up for that?

* If you don’t know Vincent, that’s too bad, since everything I do is copied directly from him.

** By “runs”, I don’t mean to imply that you actually have to run. Walking, standing still, riding a bus, and/or riding a car is also okay. Or other stuff is okay, too, especially if you can fly. Good for you, if that’s the case. We’re all very aware of how much better you are than the rest of us. Oh yeah, wow.

December 22nd, 2008 by aarondietz

Stay the Same Never Change

You can watch a quirky trailer here. It’ll be at Sundance, just in case any of you are going.

Brought to you by Laurel Nakadate, the same artist that flew to Japan just to film herself having imaginary sex with ghosts in hotel rooms. Brought to you by the same artist that filmed herself standing in a girl scout uniform as the World Trade Center burned behind her. Brought to you by the same artist that filmed herself trying to teach old men Britney Spears moves.

November 17th, 2008 by aarondietz

Fortunately, I.M.Pei got video footage, so you can watch it here.

I’m working on a fantastic six minutes to perform for Jonathan Evison (author of All About Lulu), in just a few weeks.

The Details

7pm
December 11
Third Place Books
Lake Forest Park, WA
Free show!
Free beer!
Free Appalachian wedding buffet!*

* Appalachian wedding buffet = Little smokey cheddars, Ho-Ho’s, PBR, Alka Seltzer….